This Is Why You're Huge // Banana Chocolate Chip Cookie S’Mores (via Allison...

This Is Why You're Huge // Banana Chocolate Chip Cookie S’Mores (via Allison...

Cookies Across Cincy: Jimmy John's

Location: Jimmy John's
Address: 2521 Wilson Avenue, Highland Heights, KY
Type of Cookie: Chocolate Chip
Presentation: Prepackaged in sealed plastic
Review: This cookie was around 4 inches in diameter, with a few, large chocolate chunks. It had a soft, slightly chewy, consistency. I was startled by the chocolate pieces; not only were they large but they seemed to have a large cocoa percentage which is rare in a chocolate chip cookie. It seemed to be pretty high quality chocolate. The rest of the cookie was rather sweet and tasty on its own. Unfortunately, the sweet cookie didn't mesh well with the slightly bitter chocolate chips. Separately the two parts were delicious but lacked a cohesion that is crucial to the success of a chocolate chip cookie.
Final Rating: 2/5 chocolate chips

Cookies Across Cincy

It is common knowledge amongst those who know me that I am quite a cookie enthusiast, naming cookies as perhaps my favorite food. In honor of my love of cookies, I will be reviewing various cookies that I eat (mostly originating in the Cincinnati metropolitan area.)

I am always open to suggestions of cookies to try, so feel free to tell me where I can find some excellent cookies!

Because I am not a food critic, I will go ahead and state some of my biases:

• My preferred cookie is the chocolate chip.
  
• I like both soft and crunchy cookies but strongly believe that the consistency should enhance whatever flavors are present.
  
• I generally do not like nuts, though I am willing to eat cookies with nuts in them.

Jim's Pancakes

Jim makes really cool pancakes. Seriously. Go look at them.

Crab Rangoon

Ice Cream Pie

I started with a store-bought graham cracker crust. I then spooned in a layer of softened,(delicious) vanilla ice cream. I should've put it in the freezer to harden, but I was impatient. I then crumbled up some Oreo® knock-off cookies. I don't know if I mixed them with melted better, but that's what you're supposed to do. Anyway, I sprinkled a layer of these crushed cookies on top of the ice cream. Again, I should've frozen this now but I decided to struggle instead. I added another layer of vanilla ice cream and then I covered it and put it in the freezer.

It was simple and delicious.

Easy Quiche

I used this Easy Quiche recipe as a base. Instead of broccoli and ham, I used spinach and tomatoes. Because I had more than enough to fill my pan, I sprayed the inside of my muffin tin with olive oil cooking spray and made little muffin sized quiche as well, which were great in the mornings when I needed something quick and easy to heat up and go. But who am I kidding? I was unemployed and never needed to get up and go. But I liked the muffin sized shape and portability so much that I think I will only make muffin sized quiche the next time.

Adventures in Lazy Pizza Making

This is an adventure in making a homemade pizza. It is exciting. Really exciting. I promise. Ok. It's not exciting.

Homemade pizza:

• Kroger Pizza Dough Mix
  
• Garlic Powder
  
• Grated Parmesan Flavor Veggie Topping
  
• Hot Tap Water
  
• Canned Spinach
  
• Canned Tomatoes
  
• Canned Sardines
  
• Shredded Cheddar Cheese
  
• Old World Style Ragu Traditional Pasta Sauce
  

The Process

1. I poured the packet of pizza crust mix into my favorite mixing bowl. One of my best friends, Jess, once left it at my old apartment after a pot luck. It is metal and has measurement lines inside and outside. Apparently she used it for her clay work before it became a part of her kitchen arsenal, but after it had been in my home for a while, she told me that I could keep it.
   I then poured in an inestimable amount of garlic powder and fake Parmesan cheese. I added more of the Parm than usual because I was feeling rather adventurous.
   
2. I mixed up the dry ingredients and then added ½ cup of hot tap water. I began to mix it all up and realized that, as usual, it was not enough water. I poured in a bit more water. Of course. It was too much water. Normally when this happens I will throw in some flour but I was already hungry as I had just walked 2 miles in the hot sun (and cool breeze, I admit) in flats with soles so thin that I felt barefoot, except for the fact that the flats were also a bit too large, forcing me to expend a lot of energy ensuring that they remained on my feet.
   
3. I formed the overly wet dough into a ball, coated it with olive oil, covered the bowl with plastic wrap, and set it on the eye of my stove for 5 minutes.
   
4. While the dough was sitting, I set about opening the cans of spinach and tomatoes. I prefer fresh produce but find frozen and canned produce to be a much more prudent investment. For some reason, it was difficult to drain the tomatoes. I shake my fist at them!
   
5. After 5 minutes, I sprayed my hands with olive oil cooking spray and pressed the dough into the pre-greased pan. Exciting. It was at this point that I decided, "Yes! I will use sardines!"
   
6. I was too lazy and hungry to make my own pizza sauce, so I spooned the pasta sauce on the dough until it looked enough like pizza sauce to please me.
   
7. I used a fork to spread out some tomatoes and spinach on top of the sauce. It was lovely. You should've been there.
   
8. I then opened the can of sardines. Have you ever seen a can of sardines? It's enough to make you go vegetarian. It's been maybe a month since I last opened a can of sardines. Prior to that, I had only seen the contents of a can of sardines once. They weren't really a part of my childhood. What I had forgotten in that month is that the fish in the can aren't deboned. After dealing with 3 fish spines, I decided that the pizza didn't need a lot of sardines. Most of them went into the trash which will obviously have to be taken out first thing in the morning before my tiny, tiny apartment begins to smell like South Street Seaport used to smell back when the fish market was there.
   As I was adding the sardines, I thought of those who insist that toppings belong on top of the cheese. This is how most pizzas are made. I pondered reasons why this must be so but decided that I don't care. I like my toppings to be beneath the cheese. It's easier to eat that way. That's good enough for me.
   
9. I wiped my hands of fish juice and spines and pulled out the shredded cheese which I sprinkled generously on top.
   
10. At this point, I looked around my tiny kitchen and decided that the responsible thing to do would be to clean up immediately. I put the remaining tomatoes and spinach in plastic containers to be used in quiche later this week. I ignored the bowl. I set the timer on the microwave for 10 minutes. I realized I hadn't actually put the pizza in the oven.
    
11. I put the pizza in the oven.
    
12. After the timer went off, I continued about my business for a bit before going in the kitchen and setting it for two more minutes. The soggy crust would need more time to cook, I knew.
    
13. After two additional minutes, I took the pizza out of the oven. The cheese was a bit browner than it should be but it was, fortunately, not burnt.

The Eating

I cut the pizza into 4 slices and placed a slice on a plate. (It's a small pizza! I wasn't being a pig!) I was pleased to see that the cheese cut smoothly and that the toppings didn't all fall out into the pan. I hate losing toppings.
I poured some more imitation Parm on top as well as some red pepper flakes. I grabbed the knife I had used to cut the pizza and a newly cleaned fork and ventured back to my desk.
I cut off a corner slice and eagerly put it into my mouth. It was...bland. A sense of disappointment began to settle into my belly as I got a mouthful of too-doughy dough and flavorless tomato and spinach. I took a second bite to find it equally uninspiring. As usual, I saved the best (the crust) for last. I cut into it and put it into my mouth, hoping to be pleased with the cheesy and garlicy flavor. Yeah, I didn't taste it.
I finished up the slice. It wasn't bad. It just wasn't as good as my pizzas usually are. I put a lid on the remaining pizza and put it in the fridge, in hopes that the leftovers would be better. Leftovers sometimes have this magical ability of being a vast improvement over the fresh product. And while I did have a second slice hours later, it was only slightly better. I still have hope that tomorrow...tomorrow it will be epic in its deliciousness.

Van's Belgian Homestyle Waffles

Big Soft Ginger Cookies

As derived from this recipe.

Kitchen Tools

I am into useful kitchen gadgets and have a few random ones, such as a french fry slicer, which I have used a grand total of once, that one time I mae french fries. One of my favorite websites, Cracked.com recently discussed "amazing" kitchen gadgets: Kitchen Gadgets

Nekot Cookies

More Fatty Fantasticness

Here are some more of my entries on This is Why You're Fat:

• The Cookie Cake Pie - My friend Kim and I actually came across this recipe a while ago. Since I am not much of a cake person, I think my interpretation will be cookie brownie pie.
  
• The Cheesy Mac n Rib Melt
  
• Hamburger Pie - This isn't so bad. It reminds me of my mom's cheeseburger casserole. Or a Jamaican beef patty.
  
• Adjaruli Khachapuri - This just looks delicious.

Cinnamon Rolls

I attempted this cinnamon roll recipe tonight with the follow adjustments:

• I halved the recipe because one of the reviewers said it could be easily done
  
• I used one part condensed milk and one part soy milk because one reviewer used all soy milk with no problem
  
• I used whole wheat flour
  
• I used only margarine-like spread

The results were pretty disastrous. The dough ended up being too sticky, a problem others had. I tried to add more flour during the kneading process. Sometimes it seemed I added too much flour but then I would keep kneading and it would get sticky again. This made it impossible to roll the dough out the way it needed to be rolled. And then the measurements for butter and cinnamon and brown sugar just didn't seem right. There was too much of everything but this may have had to do with my inability to roll the dough out all of the way.

I had a feeling I hadn't given the dough enough time to rise but I went ahead and put it in the oven. When they were finished, they were not chewy and nor did they look anything like that photo. They were still good, except for the brown sugar/cinnamon filling, most of which came out onto the pan b\c they were so misshapen and which was too sweet and buttery, as I predicted. And I didn't even use all of it!

Next time I won't half the recipe...and will use more flour. Maybe open a fresh packet of yeast. And actually include frosting. I don't like cream cheese frosting...and I wanted to show some restraint.

EDIT: I thought it was worth noting that these became much more delicious when reheated in the microwave. They were still not quite what I was looking for, but I have half of the batch in the freezer and I look forward to eating them soon.

99¢ Only Stores The Cookbook

Inspirations

I am in the middle of trying to adjust my current eating habits to return to a healthier state of being, but I still find myself drooling over food porn. These are some of the items on This is Why You're Fat that will be inspiring future meals:

• Chili Cheese Corn Dog Fries
• Poutine Rolls
• Corn Cheddar Bacon Pancakes
• Breakfast Pizza
• Dessert Lasagna

Blue Cheese

Me: [extensionofbob] wonders how one knows when bleu cheese has gone bad.
Jay: @extensionofbob is it nasty and crumbly and smell really bad? cuz then it should be okay.

Homemade Pizza

I've taken to making pizzas, as a quick, cheap and delicious meals. I am not quite at the point where I can make the dough from scratch but a pack of Kroger pizza dough mix costs a whopping 85¢. I tend to make my pizza sauce using tomato paste, water, and tomato soup. A good recipe can (as usual) be found on All Recipe. (FYI: a can of tomato paste cost me only 44¢.) Here are some other ingredients I generally use:

• Shredded Cheddar - I usually always keep shredded cheddar, which I can get for under $2.
• Jalapeños - I also usually keep these on hand, as I love spicy foods. I buy them jarred in nacho slices, as they keep longer than fresh ones and cost under $2.
• Curry - One day it came into my mind that a curry pizza would be a good idea, so I added some curry and cinnamon to my pizza sauce, with very good results.
• Oysters - A can of boiled oysters can be very cheap and make for a delicious topping.
• Onions and Peppers - The two fresh veggies I try to always have on hand appear on pretty much every pizza I make.
• Spices, spices, spices

Food Week

This past week was Food Week over on Lifehacker. I recommend checking out almost all of Lifehacker's food related articles, but these are my favorite from this week. (I avoided the ones about fast food because I pretty much love anything about fast food.):

• Eating Ethically on a Food Stamp Budget
  
• Store Brand vs. Name Brand—When to Go Cheap
  
• Top 10 How-to Cooking Videos

Hot Places-I've-Never-Been Chocolate

Ingredients:

• 2.5 Tbls NESQUIK® Chocolate Powder
  
• 1 Cup Boiling Water
  
• 3 Tbls Condensed Milk
  
• 2 Tbls Triple Sec
  
• 1 Tsp Cinnamon
  
• .5 Tsp Paprika

Instructions:
Combine ingredients and drink. Feel free to make any substitutions and adjustments for taste.